At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
