Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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