sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
