found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
