Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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