Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
