Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
