can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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