Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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