You really coming over, don't trick.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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