you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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