did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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