I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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