i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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