all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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