I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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