Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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