Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
