At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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