I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
