so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
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I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
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How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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