Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
