Just cropdusted the office
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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