dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize