He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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