Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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