don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
