I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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