I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
