it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
