I showed him my bush... on skype.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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