Can i not drive my cunt home
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize