am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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