At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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