anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
