My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish you could order shots online.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
