she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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