they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
