i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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