That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize