I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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