somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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