morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
