Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize