I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
