I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
