omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize