I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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