what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
