why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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