New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
