And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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