He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
