My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
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Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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