I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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