The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
