all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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