I like my sex mixed with concussions.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
