I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
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my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
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Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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