shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
