My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
