is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
