I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
