but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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